Through this chapter in Tokyo, I’ve come to make one of Miley Cyrus’s biggest hits part of my life soundtrack. The line “we can’t stop, we won’t stop” crossed my mind so randomly right while I was staring through the window glass at the greenness of some trees filled with spring leaves being moved by a rather warm air today. It’s the uneasinness that surrounds my emotions what makes me strive for certainty but it is exactly what should get me going, the necessity of finding out what this unknowness is all about; it might be permanent, one thing will lead to other, but I’m just going to do my thang in the meantime. You should too.
It’s Miley, baby.
There you are, riding through the desert towards an unknown place with no plans, no one, nothing. You look for a sign in the dusty air, something that will tell you what to do and where to be now.
Keep riding that vehicle of yours, full of magical craziness and uniqueness, go places, don’t leave Earth just yet. Who knows? Maybe someday you will find that little spark that will light up your entire existence.
I don’t know when or how, but things do get better sometimes.
Photo recently taken by me at International District, Seattle, WA
Real life is way more complex and difficult than people, especially contemporary writers and bloggers want to admit. We want to have and give answers. Answers for unrequited love, disappointment, painful times, etc. We pretend to have found a truth but we won’t admit that it isn’t satisfying. We want to share our wisdom with the world; we think we have found wisdom when we encounter things that apparently seem to finally make sense. What a huge mistake it is to believe this. We convince ourselves that we have the answers we had been looking for to finally give up, write about it, and move on, but if we were more sincere, we would not even try to impress others by the amount of answers we give to humanity; if we truly were honest, we would say how impotent and uncertain we still feel about awful situations, and about life. We could try to describe our journey, and the lessons we have learned so far, with humility, accepting that we really, do not know that much.
Of course, as human beings, we want to get answers from others, because naturally, we don’t want to deal with our own questions and heartaches. Who would not avoid such bitter things? God, but there’s just things that will never have an answer. We need to realize that pain and disappointment have the power to change us; those two things are changing me, constantly. I could not tell anybody what they should do or feel if they ever get to experience a situation of misery, but only share what I have learned, and maybe it’ll be helpful for them.
I have countless questions surrounding my thoughts, and I feel hopeless. I am amazed by how incredibly complex human beings can be. I’m being hit by life, love, and everything else that once, briefly held me with tender arms.